First Look

If you read last month's blog, you know that Tom and I planned on celebrating our decade wedding anniversary by renewing our vows. This idea of a ten year renewal began before we were even married. A joke made with serious undertones.

We had both been in twenty year marriages prior to meeting and were slightly skeptical of an everlasting love. But for some reason, a marriage commitment was important to both of us. Tom  had suggested a clause — if we are both still in love with each other in ten years, we’ ll renew the contract. Or not.

The hours leading up to the contract negotiation last weekend(aka renewal of vows) was a lovely time spent below the venue in the glamorous bridal dressing room with my girls. This included our daughters (his and mine which equal ours) close friends and our young adorable flower girl, Kaylee. Our nine year old grandson who would be Kaylee’s escort down the aisle came and went.  He was the only male allowed.

The curling irons were hot, hair blew wildly around, there were sips of white wine,  dancing spontaneously and singing loudly off key. An event in itself.

As the hour drew near,  the wedding coordinator ( my good friend Christine Adkins who owns and operates Woodhaven Wedding Venue with her husband Jon) popped in to ask if I wanted to have a First Look before the ceremony. 

First look? We’ve been looking at each other nearly twenty-four/seven since we retired a few years back.

Of course, this is the latest fad of bride and grooms, but I wasn’t really interested. Besides, we planned to walk down the aisle arm in arm in just a few minutes. We would see each other soon enough. 

But, I did have a little surprise for Tom. As far as he knew, I would be wearing the simple white dress I had finally settled on but wasn’t completely satisfied with. I scratched that dress and secretly sent my original wedding dress (which I had loved, but thought too Hollywood sparkly for the country affair I had envisioned) to the tailor.

I added long white fringe along the bodice and a slit that ran up to mid thigh. Now it was more a Dolly Parton country star (no, I’m not that busty!) than Hollywood red carpet. I even found a  perfect pair of  glittery white boots. Tom would be in somewhat gentlemanly cowboy attire complete with a bolo string tie.

“Sure, I guess that would be nice,” I half heartedly agreed. 

“Okay, I’ll let you know when I bring him down the stairs.” 

She was definitely more excited about this first peek than I was. Maybe I just didn’t get this new tradition.

A few minutes later, I was summoned to meet my past and present and future husband.  As I stood up to leave, someone had cut the tunes overhead.

“Hey, put the music back on!” I called back to my daughter Hannah.

 As soon as I stepped into the hallway, the familiar smooth voice  of Dave Matthews sang out over the speakers. 

Wanna pack your bags

Something small 

Take what you need

And we’ll disappear 

“Oh my God!” I felt my face instantly flush and smiled. Hannah. She knew this was our song. A song not added to the playlist this time around. It belonged to the real wedding of  2015.  Over the past ten years whenever You and Me played, Tom and I dropped everything and danced —  in the kitchen, the bedroom or wherever else we happened to be. The song was magic to us. Our beginning.

 I  turned the corner with such joy in my heart, and there was Tom — smiling wide and eyes crinkling as I approached. It was all  too much. The  music, the dress, the whole meaning of this celebration. Who would have thought? Ten years later and we were madly in love. In spite of truly knowing each other. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. We embraced, held each other tight, laughing and swaying to the music as  tears slid down. I’m not crying, you’re crying! 

Ahead of us would be an amazing evening of vowing to continue loving through (his) unsolicited pickleball advice and (my) overprotective horse riding warnings  — and a promise to fish with my captain at least once a year. I will, if I must! Afterwards,  would be party time with a kick ass local rock band, dancing and laughter with family and friends. 

But I have to admit that right there, in that moment, that first look, was my favorite part.